My hand turned me down
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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