It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
She bit a glass in half.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
