This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
