Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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