Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
