This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
