dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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