No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
