Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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