btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
