come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
