At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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