what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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