If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
