youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
