Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
