then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
