Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
