If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
