He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
