So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she was so not down for the gang bang
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
whose parrot is this?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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