Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
