White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
