almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
