Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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