took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
