i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
