ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
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