So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
