dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
