i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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