Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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