My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
