He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
