Nicole vs. Life
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
