Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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