Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
