it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
