The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
