Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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