Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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