a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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