I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
