K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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