i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
