what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
My liver just had a heart attack.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
