I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
