are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
