im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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