Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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