I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
