You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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