You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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