it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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