btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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