I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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