Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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