That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Shitshow foam night was such a success
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
