Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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